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Suicide impacts all of us. We must support survivors as we unravel its traumas.

Lexington Herald-Leader - 6/9/2022

Ashley Judd greeted Diane Sawyer warmly for her recent interview about the death of her famous mother, hugging her and saying, “welcome, my fellow Kentuckian.” Many Kentuckians felt the pain of that embrace. Our history and cultural legacy binds us in a way that is sometimes foreign to others. As Kentuckians, we feel the hurt of Naomi Judd’s death deeply and grieve for her daughters especially. A new science around suicide exposure tells us that we are all impacted in some way by her death.

Both of us flinched at the Diane Sawyer interview, recognizing the all-too familiar facade of trauma that we face in our clinical and research work as clinical suicidologists who have dedicated our professional lives to understanding the impact of suicide. Because of the work done in the Suicide Prevention and Exposure Lab at the University of Kentucky, we know that the devastation and long term risk conferred by these experiences are uncalculated in our current health care system. We know that for every death by suicide, there are on average 135 individuals who are exposed to that death. These may include people who knew the suicide decedent well, knew them only superficially, or did not know them at all. Of these 135, about 48 individuals are impacted significantly due to their feelings of closeness to the individual who has taken their life. These are not necessarily family members, but may include a broader network of people who loved and cared for them, including fans of celebrities. This impact confers increased risk of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and also suicide attempt. It may be an independent risk factor for suicide itself, but few health care professionals ever assess for its presence.

Suicide impact conveys a kind of suffering that is unrecognized by most mental health professionals as a trauma, although it is. Ashley Judd said that she was “deputized” by her sister and step-father to get out in front of reports of her mother’s suicide, “if we don’t say it, someone else will.” Their frenzy to get out in front of the chatter, so they could shape the news reports is emblematic of the kind of fear of stigma faced by suicide bereaved. “My mother is entitled to her dignity and privacy.” Of course, she is, just as the other 45,979 Americans are who die by suicide in the United States every year. She is and so are the Judd sisters. They are all entitled to the dignity and privacy of grieving the loss of a mother in a way that is incomprehensible to those left behind, but is a source of macabre fascination and fuel for stigma and the “gossip economy” of those who are on the outside looking in.

Suicide is a powerful force, just as mental illnesses are. It can wreak carnage on the strongest, smartest, most talented, successful people in the world. Factors that lead to suicide and drive it have been described by the latest science around it. We now recognize that suicidal individuals are not driven by the same problems or illnesses. Judd described her mother’s pain as unendurable. “Her brain hurt; it physically hurt.” Judd also described the ferociousness of her mother’s struggle. “It’s important to make the distinction between our loved one and the disease . . . It’s very real . . . it lies . . . It’s savage,” Judd reported, glimpsing the horror of her reality. She echoed what we hear every day from our patients, research participants, and the people we share our lives with, our friends, colleagues, and the people we meet casually who are suicide bereaved.

The effects of these losses frequently leave marks for the rest of a suicide bereaved person’s life. Sometimes it changes their life in positive ways, creating new relationships, new careers, a personal sense of strength, a new found spiritual practice, and an appreciation of every day as a gift and not a given. Without support and sometimes therapy, others linger in their pain and their feelings of guilt and shame. One of the most vibrant communities of support for suicide bereaved is the Lexington Survivors of Suicide group hosted by the Church of the Good Shepherd in downtown Lexington. Statewide suicide prevention efforts are offering a “Long -Term Survivors of Suicide Retreat” at the University of Kentucky the weekend of June 25 – 26 in order to bring together survivors who have lived with this traumatic loss and want to learn more about integrating all of their experiences into an understandable whole.

If respecting and upholding dignity of human life is a shared value in our country, how can we improve our ability to minister to the needs of the people who are suffering suicide loss in their lives? We must eradicate the stigma around suicide that perpetuates silence and feeds the alienation and judgment suffered by the suicide bereaved. We must also create resources to provide them the tools to live with this trauma. Communities that minister to the needs of suffering – medical communities, mental health communities, communities of faith – are all prime places to start.

Melinda Moore is an associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Eastern Kentucky University and clinical psychologist in private practice in Lexington. Julie Cerel is a clinical psychologist and professor in the College of Social Work at the University of Kentucky. She is director of the Suicide Prevention and Exposure Lab there.

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